Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize