Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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