I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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