If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Randomize
