don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
