She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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