It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
