she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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