just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
