you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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