can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
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You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
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This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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