she looked like the bat from fern gully.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
