i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
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