I hate your face
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
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