she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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