Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
