you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
