i don't plan on having that self control this summer
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I FOUND THE LEGS
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
