drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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