Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
