If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
your like the ambassador to my penis.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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