I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
