I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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