I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
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