Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
