Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
