FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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