I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
