I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
