I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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