I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
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