You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
