No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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