It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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