I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
