I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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