But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
