dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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