So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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