i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
