That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
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