By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
