my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
