Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
