This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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