And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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