You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
