omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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