If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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