that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
