The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He keeps bees of course he's weird
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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