you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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