no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
