and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
