yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
