Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Randomize
