so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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