Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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