I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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