If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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